


The Hat Stealer Pirates

by loosingletters



Category: One Piece
Genre: Agender Character, Crack Treated Seriously, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Reincarnation, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 18:16:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20878577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loosingletters/pseuds/loosingletters
Summary: Portgas D. Rouge was a strange Captain, mainly because she kept claiming that Brook was going to be the musician of the future Pirate King. Not the one of the first Pirate King, but the one after. For now, he was pretty happy to be part of her crew though and help her on her search for a good hat.(Or: Monkey D. Luffy doesn’t do normal. Not even reincarnation.)





	The Hat Stealer Pirates

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Похититель пиратских шляп](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24540775) by [Переводчик_сдох (Lena013)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lena013/pseuds/%D0%9F%D0%B5%D1%80%D0%B5%D0%B2%D0%BE%D0%B4%D1%87%D0%B8%D0%BA_%D1%81%D0%B4%D0%BE%D1%85)

> Inspired by that one scene in film Gold where Luffy wears a dress and a hibiscus flower. I blame this on literally everybody who said “go write!!” on my “pls stop me” tumblr post. The plot of this is that Luffy/Rouge wants a hat. That’s it. That’s the story.  
Idk why I wrote this either.

Brook didn’t know anyone stranger than his Captain. Portgas D. Rouge was a force to be reckoned with. She was bright, loud and vibrant, never really slowing down. In her own way, she forced people to go along with her pace, never really just inviting them to join her. No, Rouge managed to draw people in, attracting all kinds of attention, by merely _existing_. Not everyone could stand it though, which was why Brook supposed their crew was so small.

They were barely ten members, Captain and cabin boy included in his count. Brook hadn’t thought Rouge would let a nine-year-old join, but she had shown up with little Mihawk a few weeks ago and the kid had stayed ever since. He was a stubborn little brat, demanding sword lessons from Brook every day and Haki lessons from their Captain right after.

“He’s like a more serious Zoro!” Rouge had chirped, squishing Mihawk’s cheeks to his protest.

Brook didn’t know what a Zoro was, but he trusted his Captain’s word.

She tended to be right about all things dear to her.

** X **

Kureha hadn’t wanted to join a pirate crew. She had been quite content on Drum island, but then that _D. _had shown up and Kureha hadn’t been able to say no to the charismatic woman kicking down her door. Not when she had talked about the future with so much sincerity.

“Is it a good place?” Kureha asked one morning.

“The very best! You’ll teach the doctor who can heal any sickness!”

Kureha, despite her appearance or attitude, was an old woman in the sense that she had lived a long life already. Perhaps too long. Sometimes it was difficult for her to look back at the age that was and still believe that the future will be any better.

But in the meantime, if she was supposed to mentor a doctor as kind as this Chopper her Captain described, Kureha should better brush up on her knowledge on sicknesses all beyond Drum. It wouldn’t do if her apprentice weren’t prepared well enough for the storm Rouge betted on.

** X **

“What about this one?” Heracles said, stealing the hat of the captain of the crew they had just captured.

He handed the orange barrett hat to Rouge.

“Oooh, I like the color!” Rouge exclaimed. “Ace will have one just like that!”

Cheerfully she picked the pink hibiscus flower from her hair and carefully stashed it in the pocket of her red vest. Heracles was reasonably sure that the flower should be dried out by now, but it was still as pretty as the day he had met Rouge for the first time.

Then again, this was the Grand Line.

Their musician was a talking skeleton.

Heracles should stop wondering about all the strange occurrences in these waters.

Rouge tried the hat on, moving it around a few times with a thoughtful expression.

“What the fuck- _Urgh!”_

Heracles glanced at Mihawk, but the cabin boy didn’t even bother to look apologetic as he pushed Rouge’s kairoseki staff even deeper into the rival Captain’s stomach.

“How do I look?” Rouge asked, semi-content with how the hat was positioned on her head.

If there was one thing Heracles had learned in the past year traveling with his Captain, it was that Rouge valued honesty. No matter how ugly and terrible, she couldn’t stand lies.

“The color fits your freckles,” Heracles replied. “But it’s not your kind of hat.”

Rouge sighed and dropped her arms in defeat. “I knew it. I’ll never find a proper hat!”

She then placed the hat back on the head of their hostage and held out her hand for her staff. They had started confiscating Mihawk’s sword a while back in hopes the kid wouldn’t immediately jump into every battle they faced, but the kid had just opted for stealing an enemy’s sword, building quite the collecting, or Rouge’s staff since she started favoring her fists when the fights became too dull.

Most of their battles had been beneath her level so far.

Heracles had stopped believing she was from a tiny island in South Blue a while ago.

“Did you know you can coat your weapons in Haki?” Rouge asked Mihawk.

The boy nodded eagerly and Rouge grinned, then she took a step back from the captured pirates.

The men whimpered.

“Take good care of your hat!” Rouge shouted and sent them flying with her black staff.

They watched as the other crew landed a couple hundred meters away in the water, their one devil fruit user being held up by the rest of the crew.

“So!” Rouge spoke up again and put her flower back into her hair. “Party now?”

** X **

“Mihawk,” Rouge said, drawing out the vowels. “You’re not supposed to go on an adventure without me.”

The fourteen-year-old tried to escape Rouge’s hug, but the Captain wouldn’t let go of him. Rouge was an annoying woman, always touching people and trying to make them smile. Mihawk really wasn’t the kind of person who did either and Rouge had seemed to make it her personal mission to shower him in affection.

Thankfully, he had learned how to distract her.

“I brought you a hat!” Mihawk declared and presented Rouge the straw hat he had liberated from a red-haired brat.

The kid had almost made him lose his match with his distracting shouts, he’d had it coming. Besides, Mihawk had needed something to make Rouge forget he’d taken off on his own again. While Rouge had never cared what exactly everyone was up to when they went exploring a new island, she at least wanted to be told when you took off. Mihawk may have ignored that in favor of racing to a sword tournament. He just hadn’t been able to wait! He had won plenty of money too and was willing to buy himself his quiet hours by bribing Rouge with meat.

“That’s a good hat,” Rouge agreed. She looked almost nostalgic. “Where did you get it?”

“I-“

“HEY!”

Mihawk looked past Rouge to see the scrawny red-head from before approach at a rapid speed. So Mihawk hadn’t been able to get rid off the kid.

Damn it.

** X **

Portgas D. Rouge had been a strange child, always talking about places and people she shouldn’t know of, but had seen in her dreams. The village that had raised her had simply accepted the oddness of the little girl and had moved on. The circumstances under which she had come into their care had already been weird enough, there was no need to question her further.

Rouge herself hadn’t known the truth behind her dreams and the Voice whispering so sweetly in her ears until she had almost drowned at the beach one morning, playing with the other kids.

Baterilla had been so full of adventure before Rouge had choked on saltwater.

Afterward, it had appeared much too dull, simple, and gray for the late Pirate King.

Monkey D. Luffy had lived his life. He had fulfilled his own dream and watched his Nakama reach their goals one by one, joyful smiles spread over their faces.

He’d died in battle like he had wanted, and now he was back again.

And _Bored._

Luffy, Rouge, hadn’t wanted to become Pirate King again - and, yes, she would have been _King _still. That was the proper title and the name Rouge wore now didn’t change that. But without her dream to go chase or her Nakama to support, Rouge felt empty. What was there to do when you had already fulfilled the dream you had pursued all your life?

She and her brothers had sworn to live a life without regrets, so Rouge tried her best to look forward, even if she had a hard time seeing anything interesting at all.

She missed her friends and her family.

And she missed her hat.

Shanks had let Luffy keep it in the end. The Mugiwara Pirates couldn’t really be Straw Hats without their signature symbol after all.

Rouge, on the other hand, didn’t have a hat and had become used to sticking flowers in her hair. They were pretty cool and smelled nice, but they were no hat. The women in the village had called it a shame to cover her beautiful locks with anything. Naturally, Rouge disagreed with that sentiment. Everything was better with a hat, even the hair the women and girls loved to braid. They adored doing that almost as much as they liked sticking her into wide and frilly skirts.

Luffy had only worn skirts and dresses a couple times, they hadn’t suited his fighting style then with his rubber powers. But Rouge hadn’t eaten the Gomu Gomu no Mi, so no rubber limbs were getting tangled in the skirts’ fabric.

Rouge had no devil fruit powers, no hat and no crew and no idea what to do.

Setting sail again had seemed like a good idea. She didn’t know these waters, so maybe there’d be new adventures for her. Rouge would be a horrible Captain if she didn’t make sure that her family would get to live in freedom a little earlier if Rouge pushed the storms in the right direction. Brook was already waiting for someone to hear him play, and she might not be his Captain anymore, and never would be, but she couldn’t let Brook suffer loneliness any longer if she could prevent it.

And somewhere in-between the waves of the sea, Rouge learned how to appreciate swimming, picked up a crew and goal: she wanted a new hat.

And now she was finally looking at it.

Monkey D. Luffy had lived and died, but Rouge was a pirate and pirates were selfish.

And she really, really wanted her hat.

“You can’t have it!” Shanks protested, pointing accusingly at the straw hat. His voice was much too high and he was much too short. “It belongs to my Captain!”

Rouge hadn’t really spent a lot of time thinking about the not yet Pirate King. The Roger Pirates seemed like a fun bunch, though, and she had been meaning to find someone strong to fight.

It had taken a while to adjust to limbs that didn’t stretch endlessly, but once she had managed that, all battles became slightly disappointing. At least Mihawk was on his way to become the World’s Greatest Swordsman (until Zoro took his title) and training him was fun.

“If it belongs to your Captain, why do you have it?” Rouge asked Shanks.

Shanks crossed his arms in front of his chest, blushing red. “Well- I’m holding onto it for him right now! But that doesn’t matter! You have to give it back!”

Rouge twirled her hat in her hands, then tucked her flower behind the hat’s red ribbon and put it on her head. Its weight was familiar, it fit well.

No way she’d give it back now.

“Tell your Captain if he wants it back, he can come and fight me for it!”

“What!? You can’t do that!” Shanks shouted but made no move to attack her.

“I’m a pirate, I can do whatever I want.”

Smiling happily, Rouge turned to walk into the direction of her ship, Mihawk following her. It took only a moment, then Shanks rushed after them, still demanding the hat back. If he made it onto her ship, he’d have to come with them. Heracles and Brook had caused some trouble in the city, the marines would chase them out soon.

Oh, well. Roger was almost at his strongest right now, wasn’t he? He should be able to pick up on Shanks’s disappearance.

Rouge would get to fight the Pirate King. This life had undoubtedly turned out to be an excellent adventure.

Ignoring Shanks and Mihawk’s shouting behind her back, Rouge wondered if defeating him meant that she could take all his supplies too. He was a _D._ after all, he must have lots of meat on his ship. And if not, she’d make him invite her to the matches between him and Ace’s old Captain. She never got to fight him either!

“Rouge, can I get rid of the brat?”

“Don’t call me a brat, you creepy vampire!”

This life had really turned out to be a great adventure, and it was only getting better.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
So I got back into One Piece after 3 years. Please don't read my old stories they're horrible and I plan on rewriting them.
> 
> What happens next? Idk. Rouge ensures her friends get to grow up happily. Rogers gets his ass kicked. Shanks keeps bothering Rouge for her hat. Mihawk can't wait to turn 17 and hideaway in a giant goth castle for the next ten years, except Rouge probably kicks his door in to show off her cool baby.  
Honestly, I have no idea what this is. I just wanted to write a super weird reincarnation story and tired baby Mihawk.
> 
> I'd love to hear what you think about this weird little idea nevertheless!


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